Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
