the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
