oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
