for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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