she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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