All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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