Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
