Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
