another moral hangover. fuck.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
