She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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