i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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