i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish I only lived at night.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
