I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will be naked everywhere
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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