Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
