They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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