connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
