I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
