my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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