two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
