i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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