i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
