Sponge bath it is.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
