i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
