I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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