New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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