theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
