ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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