he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
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