This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
