I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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