You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
