I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
