u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
