She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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