I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
