I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
