u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
