Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
