After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
