i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Someone signed my nipple.
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