So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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