So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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