I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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