i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
