I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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