This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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