Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
