he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
