Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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