I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
